It's made all the difference: August 2011

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I'm back

Sorry, I've been sick and trying to still get my life organized. I know, organizing ones life is like climbing Everest with out any oxygen. I guess Everest can be conquered with out supplement oxygen, I guess I can organize. It's just one step at a time. Then a really long break to catch my breath.

Some fun things have happened in my absence. Our new house. Yes Daddy Warbucks and I are building a new house. The zoo is getting older and room is needed. What! Really, do we really need more room. I struggle with this. Of course I love pretty things, I love having rooms that I can try (stress try) to keep clean. I love the thought of having an adult room. With pretty things in it that the kids are not to touch cause they can break. But really, to say that the zoo is getting to big to fit in my house right now is joke. There are people in the world that live in considerably smaller places. In places that are built with garbage, in garbage, and they shelter many people. I'm a very blessed woman. I need to remember that. I'm truly blessed with many of the worlds riches. I need to find ways to give back, ways to help those that are in need. And make sure the size of my house or what is in it does not alter my outlook. We are building this house not for ourselves, but for those around us. Those that may, or will come to our door looking for refuge.

The house is coming along, yay! Not just a big hole anymore. It's a big hole with cement. I guess that is better.

Daddy Warbucks and I went to a NFL game. That was fun! ( wish I was feeling better, then it would have been even more fun) One of the cheerleaders is a friend of ours and we got tickets. She asked if I would take some pictures of her in action. So I tried to follow her around the stadium to get the perfect shot. I'm sure I looked like some crazy stalker. Popping up out of now where to take close ups of this cheerleader. HAHA! I'm serious, I felt like a Whack-a-Mole game. Or where's Waldo. but it was fun and I did get some good shots.

That's another things with my day planning experiment ( which by the way crashed and burned, now I need to pick up the pieces and try again, story of my life) I'm going to get any book I can get my hands on and read and teach myself about photography. Now I do not plan on becoming a photographer. I have a dear friend that can do that job and she is great at it. But just good enough that I can take some zoo pics and have them turn out nice. Some fun, abstract that are though provoking. So this might just become the avenue of showing off some of my triumphs and failures.

I want to show that I am a real person. I glimpse of my life through that of the camera. I want to pick up every detail, beautiful or ugly. I don't like hiding behind things. I don't like pretending that I am someone that I'm not. I'm just as normal as everyone else. Maybe even strange. Yes I like to dress up for church. Everyone does, we all put on our finery and come and sit and act like our zoo is perfect. Well I'm here to say I do the same thing. My life is not perfect, most days, I'm lucky to get a shower in. I'm lucky is that day not once did I raise my voice. I'm lucky if I ate a well balanced meal, if I got my laundry done, ( we all know how much I hate laundry) I'm lucky is I did not fall asleep while praying, fall asleep while trying to read my scripture. Fall asleep while trying to read to the zoo. Yes I have pimples on my face, my hair is a wild mess. You can see the pours on my face, I'm not a fantastic driver and sometimes we have pancakes for dinner. I'm real! Don't feel bad if you are too, welcome to the club. I hope that we can all embrace our reality and just enjoy each other and the journey that we are on. I just read a beautiful article a dear friend sent me. We are in this life to practice. Like a piano players practices. We are here to practice living with Heavenly Father. I never though about it that way. I'm not going to be prefect. I don't have to do everything right all the time. I will hit the wrong note, I will get frustrated, irritated. I will stumble and have to play the song of life one hand at a time. But I'm practicing. I'm trying and day by day, I'm improving.

On that note, ( haha) don't forget who you are, and who loves you. And keep practicing.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Day one...and other thoughts

Well it has been day one of the famous, or infamous time experiment. So far so good. A couple things that I have realized. I'm not as busy as I thought I was and I really do drink alot of water. I guess both are good. One, if I have more free time then I thought I can get more done. More opportunities to do other things. More opportunities to serve, read, bake, play, and yes the dreaded clean. I knew that was going to come up. Daddy Warbucks is going to be very happy with that one. Not that I have a dirty house, I do clean and I try to keep up with the zoo. But I must say, sometimes it does get away from me. So I'm sure he will be excited to find that I have more time then I thought and I can spend more time cleaning the house. ( Not very fun, I would rather do something else)
Also I do drink alot of water. I was never worried about that, I just never thought that it was that much. I think I had 10 glasses of H2O. Yes 10. I am just as surprised as you that I have not floated away yet. Lets just say there is alot of throne time. That's just about it. Nothing fantastic or mind shattering happened. I did go to a baby shower with a wonderful lady. I love that she has entered my life. She is so fun and totally genuine. I love being with her. She makes me want to do better. Be a better mom to my kids, a better person to others. She is a great example. Hopefully I don't scare her off with all my crazy going on.
As I was folding laundry. Yup, that was one of my Top 5 to do today. I was listening to Elder David A. Bednar and his wife talking in an interview. It was wonderful. I would love to share what he said about Faith. " Faith is to step into the darkness anticipating that the light will move/appear." I thought that was wonderful. Right now Daddy Warbucks and I are stepping into the darkness. It's scary, it's humbling, it's building our spirits. I have to look at it as was stated. Walk out in the darkness anticipating the light to shine. Very good advice. That is what faith is. Walking with out knowing, but revelation will come after the walk is done.
Off to get the other things on my list done. One is curling my hair with a sock. I will let you know how it turns out. ( Tried it on kangaroo first, I'm a chicken. We will see how it looks)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lemon WHAT!!!!

OK, a little lighter post. One about dirt. What dirt, odd topic. Actually this is about lemons. Yes our dear friend the lemon. The fruit that is yellow, bumpy, is sour as anything, given to babies gets the best faces possible. And for us that don't like to order drinks in restaurants it makes us feel better when put in our glass of water. ( That last part is so true) Anyway, this little fruit has so much oomph behind it.

Not only does it smell like you just cleaned the house, but if bathed in it or rubbed on ones skin it will fade a self tan job gone bad. ( not that I know anything about that. I lived in Canada, winter lasts a long time. Anything that one can do to make the winter blues go away, one tries) So just recently, I stumbled across a blog(kandeej.com) that said to wash your face with it. What I screamed, that might just work. So of course, me ( the one who gets sucked into buying infomercial products) tried it. Trout thought it was hilarious. Trout walked into my bathroom saw everything out and asked if I was baking in the bathroom. Let's just say I have tried everything, avocado, mayo, honey etc. ( By the way honey is great for clearing up that pesky pimple that snuck up on you in the middle of the night)

So what you do, is take some lemon juice, I used it from concentrate. To cheap to get the real fruit, poured it on a cotton pad. Sprinkled white sugar on it and started scrubbing. My own little sugar exfoliate. My face felt great, so smooth and smelled like I just cleaned the kitchen. HAHA! No really, it worked great. It's supposed to help with pregnancy mask and other dark spots we find on our faces. So try it, it may surprise you. And if not, it will just keep your family wondering if you really are crazy. The jury is still out on that for me.

Computers are only as smart as the user

Well this statement rings so, so true in my life. The last post with the experiment did not save. Nor did the user ( me) check to see if it did save. I'm so very sorry, because in that last paragraph or so I explained the meaning of life and how to navigate through this crazy life. Hahaha. So sorry!
Nah, of course that is not true. I have a glimpse of what the meaning of life is. But I struggle everyday to navigate it. Sorry, no sage advice coming from me.
Anyway. I have no real idea what I said last night ( it was late, and I should have been sleeping) so I will try to recount what was said and at last the experiment.
So what do you want to be? It's more then a career, it's more then just being a mommy. It's who do you want to be. I want to be strong, I want to be wise, I want to be patient, loving, submissive, and endure my trials with my head held high. I want to be a mother who sees a teaching opportunity and takes it. I want to be the mom in the stands that holds up the " Way to Go!" sign for a child's play, sporting event, kindergarten musical. The mom that is always there to kiss the zoo goodbye in the morning and kiss them when they walk in after school. I want to be selfless in service. I want to be a tool in my Saviors hands. So with all these wants, what do I need to do to become what I want to be. Ha! There is a to do list. But it's more then laundry, dishes and picking up. It's praying, studying scripture, praying, praying, praying and then acting.
It took my a while to figure this out. Now I'm not good at it. I'm selfish, I'm lazy, I'm depressed just like he just of the world, but I see that I need to change. That's half the battle. Yesterday with Bug playing by herself on the floor, I took that opportunity to drop everything and play. We played horsey for an hour ( there was a well worn round pattern on the floor and my knees, back and gut hurt after) then came the tracing of feet, hands, faces and anything else we could find. It's was fun. I spent some of the precious time my Father has given me playing with one of his dear children. It's was wonderful being at eye level. Laughing and snuggling. Time, time. That's where the experiment comes in .
So time, why do we ( OK me ) feel that there is not enough time. Well, I think it is due to the fact that I'm horrible at managing it. ( Oh man another flaw, this blog is pulling them all out) Yes I could do a way better job at managing my time. So how to I do it. I don't know, I hoping someone else would tell me. Nah, I think we need to be mindful of the time that we waste. So I'm going to log my time. Yup, just like one logs a budget, a food plan. I'm going to log a time plan. And I'm going to be brutally honest. Yikes, this is going to get even scarier.
I've thought about this for awhile. I need to get my work done before playing. I need to write my jobs down ( make a list) then keep it where I see it all the time. Mark things off when they are done. I feel better seeing lists get shorter. It makes me feel like I accomplished something. That's the key I think, feeling like you did something. Then we want to continue to feel that way. Triumphant! Then at night, I can look back and see all I did and plan for the next day. That's the experiment. Now does it work, hypothesis says that if I stay true to the system, in the days, weeks, months to follow I will be more organized and have time to be who I want to be. Stay tuned to see what the daily variables are and the conclusion. ( Science was my best subject haha) Stay tuned. All my readers. And you know who you are cause I only have 3 including myself. HAHAHA!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Who do you want to be and an experiment

I woke up this morning ready to get to work. Trout had to be out the door early for school. (Yikes it's hard waking up before the sun and getting moving) I can tell you now, I am not a morning person. I don't function well in the morning. I wake up and everything is a fog. I don't think that reality hits me until well after I have woken up. Really I don't wake up. I walk around like a mummy. Yes not a mommy, but a zombie mummy. I'm surprised my zoo does not eat me alive. You know animals can smell fear, and lack of power and organization. I'm really surprised they don't eat me for dinner. Anyway, I got moving. breakfast infront of her, lunch being made and of course my grand idea for the day running through my foggy mind. Bug gets up way to early and I snuggle her in my bed ( which happens to be her and my favorite place) and I drift off to a wonderful sleep. Of course like any mom with her own zoo, there are more that have to be woken from slumber ( darn, sometimes they are better sleeping) and fed, brushed, fed again, cleaned and marched out the door to the poor awaiting teachers. ( What a hard job, being a teacher.) I wake up paniced. I have over slept. Ahhhhh! Again animals can smell fear. Hurry, hurry hurry. Out the door we run with shoes not all on, and mom once again in her PJ's taking them to the bus stop. Yes it has happened before and it is only the 4th day of school.

They are off safe and sound. Now time to get things done. Feed the last of the animals, clean and brush. Get some workout time in. ( Glorious) and then back home to finish the mountains, not loads, but mountains of laundry. I joked with friends saying, that if I ever get sentenced to fire and brimstone. Mine will not be fire and brimstone, but LAUNDRY! I'm horrible at laundry, really it is the worst thing on the planet. It never is done. Multiplies before your very eyes and well you know horrible. I digress, I'm faithfully doing laundry, ( not happy about it) and trying to clean the kitchen. Don't even get me started on that rant.

I look over and there is Bug sitting on the floor playing by herself. I recent Confrence talk starts replaying in my head. There is a difference between being and doing. We see ourselves in a doing mode. A check list. How often do we look at life at a being mode. "Who do I want to be?"

Sunday, August 21, 2011

A beautiful Sabbath

Today was a great day at church. A couple of things happened.
1. I made it a great day. ( Well not me but the Spirit) but I made a point to go out of my way to visit. No longer am I going to sit on the sidelines waiting for someone to come talk to me. I'm making the first step. I'm making the first smile, the first greeting. I'm no longer going to feel sorry for myself that no one talked to me. I need to be the person that I want others to be to me. It was a great day. I visited with people that I admire and it was genuine. I was letting the Lord speak to me and I was listening.
2. A great lesson given by an amazing woman. I loved what she said about our children. How they learn. They watch, they listen, they mimic. We have such a short time to teach them, to guide them, to help them grow and become strong. We must do our very best to help them. One thing we did talk about was that the adversary has no power over the little children. Until they reach the age of accountability. I was intrigue. The thought popped into my mind about the Armor of God. We as parents are responsible to teach our little ones before they are faced with the war that is raging around us. The Lord has given us this little time where Satan has no power over these little ones. This is there probation, before they are asked to stand and be counted. I thought about our military. They are not thrown out in war with out any instruction. Yes at times it may be small and not that informative. But there is some instruction. There is preparation that takes place. Safe guards set up. Same as teaching our little ones. I'm am helping them prepare. I'm teaching them about how to stay safe. How to fight this war. The question arises " How do we prepare our little ones?" We teach them about the armor that they need. About pray, about scripture study, about making and keeping covenants. But not just teach by our Monday discussions, or what they learn in church on Sunday. But by example. By showing them our well worn armor. By keeping our armor on all the time. Our shields of faith polished and strong. Our swords of truth, sharp and not rusted. We show and teach by example. I envision a mother sitting by her son as he pulled out his armor for the first time. I mother loving sit beside her son as they together polished it. They together looking over the chain mail looking for a weak link. Testing his sword together. I envision a loving mother making sure that the straps are strong. That they are buckled up strong, that they will not fall off. I envision a mother teaching her son how much she loves him. Her hugs, her kisses, her tears as she tells of the suffering that may come, of the pain that will be encountered. But always holding her dear child close and reassuring his safety in her arms. We need to be the mother, the father that helps polish, that helps sharpen, that helps strap on the armor their dear Father in Heaven has given them. And always, always hug them and kiss them. Let them know we love them and will always be there for them. We must make sure they are strong, for if we do not and they fall by the sword of the foe, how great will be our sorrow.
This is what I learned. I'm preparing my children for war. I'm helping them learn to stay strong and be safe. To never take that armor off. And in the end to always love them, and help heal the wounds that they will come home with. We have so much to teach them and at times I feel so little time to do it.
My direction is so much clearer. My time is called for. Mine is to teach my children. To dress them for battle. To always fall to my knees for help and thanksgiving. And to love unconditionally. That is who I want to be and who I will stay true to. I love my children. I love the zoo I live in. I love my Savior, He is my light, my anchor. He is why I am here and He is why I want to return. With Him as my teacher, my advisor, I can and will accomplish all that I am asked to do, and I will do it well.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Get to Work

I was listening a couple days ago to a conversation on a podcast. ( I love them, I'm totally hooked. Thanks to a dear friend that told me about them.) Anyway, they were talking about how in the world today with live in, it is constantly changing. We live in a time where there are no morals. Right and wrong are blurred lines that people cross on a daily if not hourly basis. We are being hounded by wolves in sheep's clothing. It is a war. The question was given, how do we live in this world. How do we live in such harrowing times. Elder Bednar recalls something that President Hinkley said. He said " We live in tumultuous times. Lets get to work." How true, we do live in times that are ever changing, and they well not get better. But we know what we are to do, so lets get doing it. Doing that which is right, not in the worlds eyes but in the eyes of our Lord. Lets get to work. I love that new motto... Let's get to work.
On the same hand I need to change my out look on some things. This weekend Daddy Warbucks took myself and the Zoo to a restaurant. This does not happen very often. Not that we don't like eating out, but to invite the zoo is a little daunting of a task and sometimes the food is not worth the money. Really 5 bucks for a grilled cheese sandwich! Sweet heart I can make a whole boat load of grilled cheese for 5 bucks and they would taste better. Anyway.....
We had the best server. His name was Dee. Loved him. He was so kind, loved the kids was a true southern gentlemen. Now "Bug" leaned over to me and asked me really quite like, "What colour is he." I was taken aback. Could she not see, how was I to answer her. I have never been asked to describe someones colour. It never has occurred to me. So I hesitated. This was going to be a teaching moment. I was going to show that I was not respecter of persons. I was going to teach a lesson. I began to stutter, trying to find just the right words. Bug then looked at me again and said " Mom, come on what colour does he like?" I was shocked. And a child shall lead them... so true is this statement. I was being lead. Bug did not see the colour of skin, the race, the gender, the traits that so quickly we use to judge people by. But saw the person. Saw the soul, wanted to know about that son or daughter of God. I was humbled. I need to look past the outer shell that our souls live in and look deeper. I need to see the child of God in each and everyone of us. And I need to treat that child the way that they deserve to be treated. I'm not saying that I'm horrible, but we all need to look at people through the eyes of a child. We need to see what really is there.
Just a thought
Now get to work!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday's Findings

Well today I found out the Mother Nature likes to play tricks. Of course we all know that. Never has a day gone off fully the way that we plan. Yes sometimes she smiles down on us and grants our greates wishes for nice sunny days as we bbq, or play with the kids. But there are times that everything is against us. Literally, wind, rain and lightning in this case. Started the run as usual. I had my camelbak on full of water ( haha little did I know I would not need anymore water then I got dureing this run), my gps/heart rate monitor ( why anyone uses those I have no idea, I really don't want to know that my heart is about to leap out of my chest and I'm going to die. I don't need a watch to tell me that thank you, My heart does a pretty good job telling me itself). After all that is strapped on, wait there is more. My phone/mp3 gets put into place and confrence gets pumped nice and loud through the ear phones. ( I know totally geeky to listen to General confrence as I run, but it soothes the soul and takes me places that I would never go while running. It is a great thing to try. Really I encourage everyone just to try it. You will get sewpt away in the spirit). Ok so by now, I look like I'm ready to infaltrate some hidden bunker somewhere in the jungle, ( Yup just call me Rambo, ok maybe Rambet, cause I'm a girl, haha. Ok only I found that funny). So anyway, I'm ready to go kissed the zoo goodbye and set off with great gusto. This was to be my best run. Well Mother Nature had other plans. To the left dark ominous clouds. That you would find in a horror movie ( good thing no scary music was playing, I would have gone straight home) on the right. a beautiful clear sky. The breeze was pleasent and the air was cool. Well Of course the breezed turned to a wind the sky was englufed with a green blackness and the ears were insulted with distant rumbles of thunder. The rain pounded. I found myself wondering what to do. Do I turn back or find shelter. Nature made that desision for me. Lightning raced across the sky, teasing me. Showing me who the faster one was. The closed the deal I was done. I could feel the energy from that one bolt as it raced high above my head. Time to go in. Of all places I found refuge. A golfcourse clubhouse. ( lightning, golf clubs. ok again I am the only one finding that funny.) I called for help. Got no answer at home so called in the calvary. Grabbed a ride home, kicked off my sloshy wet shoes and socks, and went to go find Daddy Warbucks. Only to find out, my prince in shining armour was out looking for me in the storm. My run ended rather short. Darn! Now do I brave Mother Nature again today. The sun is shinning, the birds are singing and there is a light breeze. I think I may just take the day off and enjoy the zoo that engulfs me. Long story short, I can't control the weather, but I can control what I do with it. Lets go and play with the zoo!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

New for me!

So just the other day, Daddy Warbucks offered me a great thing. I got a laptop. I have always wanted something to sit in my kitchen that I have control over. Yes I have control of all the other appliances in the kitchen, stove, dishwasher, mixer and fridge, (lameo) but this. This little toy has so much more fun things to play with then the dishwasher. Sure a dishwasher I can sanitize, and melt plastic. But with this baby, I can create. So already I have downloaded my pictures and photo editing software, ( don't know how to use it but I'm trying). Put security passwords so the animals in our zoo can not get on and have had to troubleshoot things that I have done. I'm so very happy! So yes it is not new and shiny, does not smell like it just came out of a box, and did not come with a great big price tag, but it's new to me. But it does let me create and control. Probably more control. I love having things in the open. I love that my kids can sit in the kitchen with me and play the games on the computer. They can surf the web ( really only the sites that I say they can visit), and it's all in the open. I love not having things to hide. Once things become secret and hidden. The adversary has an easier job, He is able to get into the dark places and speak to our minds. We should have nothing to hide, nothing to shy away from. Our lives should be led that if they made a movie out of it, everyone would be able to see it. Mine would out everyone to sleep, but that is my life.
The story comes back to me that Elder Brown gave a long time ago about the currant bush. "I'm the Gardner here". Well like him I'm the Gatekeeper here. I know what I want in my house and what I want out of my house. I will stand guard, I will be vigilant and yes my kids may lead a G rated life in my home. But it will be full of peace, joy, bumps and bruises. laughter and tears, but it will be a good life. It will be safe.
Again I love my new computer, where is sits in our house and what I'm able to do with it. Hopefully more creations to come.

( I have no idea what happened with the last post. I was playing with a fashion site and something with posting went really bad. Sorry. Why am I apologizing. I'm the only one reading this. Haha)