A New Year is upon us.

Well I have gotten Christmas done. Not put away yet, but the hustle and bustle is all done. Now it's time to get down to the nitty gritty. Yup with a New Year there comes "resolutions". I don't like the word "resolution", I like the word " goals". I love the thought of setting a target and trying your hardest to reach it. Sometimes my targets/goals are totally out of reach, and totally unattainable. ( really, at my age and situation, do I really think that I will be landing on the moon anytime soon. Not likely.) So like the rest of the world, I try to set goals that are going to make me better, healthier, smarter, faster, stronger and just a well rounded individual.
I looked back at my goals last year and well, I don't' think that I accomplished a lot of the them. In fact I don't think that I finished any of them. So with a New Year comes new resolve. I'm going to get at least one of my goals done. Just one, that's all I need.
For Christmas I got a lot of calendars. I love the calendars, one was made by "Bear". All the months have art work that she had put together in school. Love it. Another is a family calendar that my dear sweet sister in law put together. I opened it up and realized just how much I miss my family. I will keep it where I will always be able to see it. Then I got another calendar to help me stay organized. It's got a lot of space so that I can write things that are important. You know get the zoo here and there, make dinner, remember to breath you know simple everyday stuff like that.
I sat down to today and got my menu figured out for the whole month. Yup you read right, a whole month. I'm sooooo looking forward to getting cooking. Plus, "gasp"! The Pioneer Woman is on Food Network. I just found out. Maybe I'm the only one that didn't know, but I'm soooo very, very excited. So to pay homage to this news, most of my menu is taken from her. So this is what I'm making this coming week in January.
Monday--Roman Style chicken (Giada De Laruentiis)
Tuesday--Wild rice and cheese skillet souffle ( cookbook from a dear friend)
Wednesday--Chickpea/beef/ veggie stew ( cookbook and slow cooker recipe)
Thursday--Meatloaf ( my own creation, which is very good, not to toot my own horn, but toot toot)
Friday--Fish Stew ( very country french)
So that is the meals for this week. I'm so very excited. I will take pictures of the all the meals and let you know if they were good or not.
That is the goal setting for right now. There are more but I need to sit and think somethings over. I need to make sure that the goals are not just good goals but better goals. And of course things that I can accomplish.

Well I have not been on here for a while. I have had a lot of things to do, and as you can see my computer is in pretty rough shape. The 'G' is not the only key missing and the space bar does not work all the time either. I was going to see how long I could write this with out using the "G" but I have not succeeded. And if I could write with out spaces it would go so much faster.
So this month has flown by. Christmas is almost upon us and I have really done nothing. A wedding is done (yay). It was beautiful and the two are very happy. School Christmas parties start this week and so does the ward party. So much to do in so little time. I think that I have gotten most of my shopping done but I really have no idea, the baking has fallen by the way side and my house with it. And to top it all off, we have no snow. I know I should be happy. But it does not really feel like Christmas with out just a tiny bit of snow. Just to get me in the mood. What I really need to do is get off my broken computer and start baking. Yup that is exactly what I'm going to do. Go bake something nice. No really I'm going to go running ( cause I have not done that in a while either), then bake something ( so I can eat it, remember I just ran), then clean my house, feed the hungry, cloth the naked and end world conflict. Now that is just the mornings activities. HAHA! really I'm going to run inside on the hamster wheel. Probably not bake anything and waste my time on Pinterest. This should be a productive day. HAHA!

A Good Day!

Look what I found on my front step. Yummy! My favorite. Salted Caramel Hot chocolate. That made my day. Everyone loves getting surprises. That just made my morning on this cold wet day. Now to keep the momentum. I get to chat with a good friend today and make good choices. I choose to be happy today. I choose to pass it on. Do you remember the show Evan Almighty. I thought it was pretty cute. God told Evan to build an ARK. Now that is a hard task to build an ARK. Later on we find out that all of us are asked to build an ARK ( acts of random kindness). We do all have the task to build. So I'm going to start doing what I have been asked. Acts of Random Kindness. It can be anything from a text ed saying " have a good day" to little notes in the mail ( who does not like little notes) or like an angel this morning, dropping off a Starbucks at someones front door. OK world, watch out here comes an ARK. Ahhh, now that you all know, forget that it was me who told you. And don't be surprised if you get something. Duh. Now I've really told everyone. Man I hope Jedi mind tricks work over the Internet. HAHAHA!


As you can see the chocolate did not last long. YUMMY!

The power of sisters.

Everyone should have sisters. I love mine, they are kind, thoughtful, spiritual, loving, silly, warm, sometimes fuzzy and always know what to say. I have had great moments with my sisters. Since moving away from them I have had a void. But I must say that I now have found a whole handful of sisters. These women would drop everything to help, they would cry with me, laugh with me, sometimes laugh at me. ( I'm not very graceful) I love my new sisters just like the sisters that live so far from me. I had an experience with one the other day. She sent me a beautiful talk. It was truly amazing and I was touched that she thought of me. I knew the talk was for me, for in the first few sentences my favorite scripture was quoted. How beautiful and lovely the mysteries of God are. She is a very inspired women. With all that is happening in her life she has time to think of me. She is a dear friend and sister.
As I was thinking about sisters, I was thinking about trees. I know totally random. I was thinking about the little trees that sometimes I see that are growing in the strangest places. I'm sure that you have seen them. The ones growing from cracks in rocks. Growing in the middle of wind and sun scorched deserts. The ones that grow where it would be impossible to grow. I was thinking that I was like those little strange trees. All alone growing in the most impossible climates, on the steepest cliffs. Well I opened my eyes. I was not a lone little tree. Struggling to find purchase in the environment I was given. No, I'm in the middle of a forest. My roots have been in tangled with the other trees around me. I thought about that. My roots are not reaching for purchase in sandy soil, rocky terrain. My roots are reaching for security and safety in the roots of the other trees around me. That is way when the winds and torments of the weather arise forests don't move, yet lone trees sway and break, and ultimately die. I opened my eyes and saw all the sisters standing round me. They are the trees that I'm talking about. I'm in a forest of strong, amazing and spiritual women. I'm in a forest of regal saints that I get to call sister. Their roots are strong. Their roots have knit together through service, prayer, laughter, tears, heartache and joy. I don't stand alone, I stand in the presence of giants. I'm intertwining my roots. When the storms of life rage around I know that I will not be blown over. I am in a forest of strong women, my roots may not be as deep as others right now but we are weaved together and together we will weather life. My mother, my sisters, my sister friends they stand by and give support. Not to forget the amazing man who stands by me and has grown with me this far and forever. He is my greatest support, my greatest cheerleader, my greatest friend. I opened my eyes and saw his. I'm so thankful for all the Lord has placed in my forest. Thank you.

P.S. I have not read the book that is the picture. Sorry

Had a great day yesterday!

So I thought that I would write this earlier in the morning so that I don't forget my epiphany. A couple things before I rain beauty and clearer understanding in your life this morning. ( HAHA ya right, it's more like you already know things and a mud puddle, but it seemed clear to me). So to start things off, I made my bed. Yes you heard me I made my bed. Now for some of you that is no big deal. For some of us who may have some morning get going struggles. This is a huge accomplishment. It's so easy to leave the bed unmade, so that when you feel down or sad you can just crawl back in, pull the covers over your head and try to forget that the world outside is still turning. Having a made bed takes more effort to get into. Try it for your self. Then you will understand. There is some kind of beauty that comes from a made bed. It's like you got something together even when things are falling out of the sky around you. So YAY me, my bed is made. Now onto the meat of the post.
I had a great day yesterday. Gator Girl invited me for lunch. It was fabulous. She is so talented at making things look so pretty, and effortless. Not to mention she is fabulous and gorgeous and just brings sunshine in your life. You know one of those people that they just have to smile at you, not even say a word and your day is so much brighter. Well, we did lunch. It was so fun. I had no animals from the zoo with me. It was just Sandy time. No mommies were in sight. ( I love being a mommy, but sometimes we need a break.) She made a fantastic lunch, so tasty and the conversation was inspiring and life changing. To me it seemed like the worlds problems were solved. Of course we figured out how to end world hunger, how to achieve world peace and do all great things in the world and still look fabulous and accessorized. Haha, naw but to me it changed things. Our conversations were inspired and it made me look back and contemplate some things. One, I adore so many people. I find strength in seeing the wonderful strength in other people. In knowing what wonders they perform, no matter how great or small. Was just in awe of some of the great women that we both love. They are meek and humble sisters. I love them
Two, I need to look into the mirror and see what my Heavenly Father sees. This is a hard task. I would love to black out a mirror and just leave a strip visible. A strip where when you look in the glass all you see are the beautiful eyes looking back. None of the other stuff we fill our heads with, just the eyes. And I really want to look. Study those eyes, let the eyes study me back. Truly our eyes are the windows to our souls. If we can get past all the "fluff" that we surround ourselves with. All the nonsense and noise, I'm sure that our eyes will tell us things that our brains don't understand. I'm sure they will tell us and show us where we came from. The glorious life we had before earth, learning at our Savior feet. I'm sure that they would tell us of the strength and power that we possess. I'm sure that they would show us that we are literally daughters of a King and that we are entitled to all that He has. I'm sure those eyes would shake the enemy that we all have waiting to destroy us at every turn. There is much power in our eyes, we just ( OK I just) have to learn to get past the "fluff" and look at my eyes.
Third, my lunch uncovered many scares that I have. ( not literal scares, I do have some of those) but spiritual and mental scares that I thought I so expertly hid, under layers and layers of bandages. Yesterday, I removed those bandages and you know what I found. I still have those scares, some are deeper then others, but they are healing. They don't seem as deep and horrible as they did. Some are still fresh and sore. They still hurt constantly, but some are almost healed. All that is left is the mark, but that mark is something not be scared of. Something not to cover up. It is a battle wound that I bear proudly. Or I should bear proudly. It is a healed scar that may just help someone else who has the same scar, but much newer then mine.

Yesterday was a good day, no yesterday was a great day! I was touched by love, tickled with laughter, I was re bandaged with sympathy and lifted up with kindness and compassion. Yesterday was a great day, I want to make today even greater.

BOO!

It's All Hallows Eve time again. Did it seem to anyone else that we just did this. I recall it was not that long ago. It's amazing how quickly life is going by. Thanksgiving is in 3 weeks and Christmas is right around the corner. And do you think that I am ready for any of them. Nope! I just bearly got this day done. I was still running around this afternoon trying to get all the odds and ends wrapped up. And I don't even go all out at Halloween. Imagine how crazy I would be if I did. You think I'm crazy now, man I would hate to see me then. I must say that this is not my most favorite holiday. I don't know why. Why is that? I loved Halloween as a kid. What kid wouldn't. One you get to be someone that your not. How cool. I get to be Superman. Awesome. Okay for me I was usually a downhill or cross country skier. If you knew where I grew up you would understand. So really my costume looked no different from my winter coat. But man I thought that was the best. Funny thing is, the people handing out the candy would know exactly what I was. " Oh look, Another skier!" Haha I wonder how many skiers folks got in my neighbour hood. Second thing. You get to ask for candy, and the adults gave it freely. There was no wondering if this time I ask for sweets will I get it. Nope this day you got as many sweets as your pillow case ( we didn't have cool bags like kids do now) could hold. I remember getting it so full that I could bearly carry it. I mean it was only maybe half full of the candy that you really wanted to eat, and the rest was just garbage. Do you remember those candies that had the orange wrapping and the witches on them. You know the ones I'm talking about. They would taste horrible and indefinitely pull out any loose teeth that you had at that moment. Those always were the last thing in the bag. ( sorry for all of you out there that liked those candies. Wish I knew you when I was young we totally would have traded). So as a child I loved Halloween, now not so much. I love the kids excitement as they try to figure out what to dress up as. But you all know what is going on in my head. I have to make what! I have to find what! I find it a total nightmare. Now maybe if I was as talented as a dear friend of mine who make all her kids costumes. They are amazing. Really good looking costumes. But alas I totally procrastinate and don't seem to have time to get the costumes done. Sorry my little zoo mom is lame. I just don't get into it. Then I think of all the money that I'm spending on candy that I have to give out. ( man I'm totally cheap). Nah I just see all the candy that will be in my house that I will eat. Cause I have no absolutely no self control when it comes to fun sized chocolate bars. Really I rationalize that I can have 3-4 bars. They area just little and it's not a full chocolate bar. I know that we have all thought that. Don't kid yourself.
So now I'm handing out the candy that will be back in my house times five. (All the pillow cases the zoo will bring back) I will have to find in myself some form of control so I don't end up being the example to the zoo on what happens when you eat too many sweets. I then I have to do it all again next year. Which remember is going by so fast. And that is why Halloween is not my favorite. Maybe this holiday is a test for me. Well friends, I'm failing miserably. I have already down 2 bags of reases pieces, a york patty, and I'm eyeing the whoppers. Man I totally fail. ( I'm excited to see what the zoo brings back, man I'm a total failure. Hahaha!)
Happy Halloween, May your treats be sweet and your tricks scary.

It's been awhile.

It has been a long time since I last posted and I have felt somewhat sad. I have not thought of anything witty or profound for awhile and maybe that is why I have not written. But it's time to pull myself out of the dumps and start spreading some sunshine. Even if I spread it here to myself.
I'm tired. I'm tired of trying and failing to keep my house clean. I'm horrible at it. Really,this is not a strength that I have. Some people are amazing at it, well not me. So I'm just tired of looking at my house and seeing my failure. Not fun. I'm tired of waking up so dang early to get Trout off to school. Don't get me wrong I love our time together in the morning trying to talk about what is happening in her day ( both her and I are not morning people) and then when we are waiting for her ride, we snuggle up together under a blanket. I love doing this with her I just wish it was later in the morning. I'm tired of measuring myself next to other people. There are tons of people who are better then me and I have to stop beating myself up for not being like them. ( Ah, look at comment no.1 cleaning my house). I look at others and feel that I'm totally inadequate or doing something wrong. You know that days, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of just being tired. I have tried everything to not be tired. I work out and love it, ( is that not supposed to give you more energy?). I'm totally drained by the end of the day. What am I talking about I'm drained just sitting here typing after having a nice long morning nap. Man I have a problem. I want to be supermom. We've all seen those women. The ones that are head of the PTA, run marathons, have a perfectly clean house, the children are all straight A geniuses. And they are like the energizer bunny. They keep going and going. Well I don't think those women really exists. That women if she is doing all of this is crying in her bathroom every night with exhaustion. She is this close to snapping and having a breakdown. And she feels just as rotten and worthless as the rest of us. So I'm trying to look at all the good things that I do. I think we all need to stop and write down the things we do well. We don't have to do them perfectly or all the time, but the things that we are good at. And what we like about ourselves. I think then we will see just how great we really are. OK so now it's time all of us pull ourselves out of the dumps and spread some sunshine to those we meet today.
On the lighter side. I had a wonderful weekend. It was my birthday. Not just any birthday, a very special birthday. Kangaroo and I share our birthday. She was born on the same day that I was. Now I must admit that at the time of birth I was not very thrilled about this birthday gift. This gift was painful, and a lot of work. But everyone around me was telling me how wonderful this was and does not happen very often. I'm thinking to myself "Yay me! Now give me some drugs!". Well time has passed and sharing a birthday is really special. It's something that we have that no one else does. It's our special day together. Really she's the one that celebrates and I do all the work to make it wonderful. HAHA! But this birthday was amazing. Kangaroo turned 8, yup 8. And on her 8th birthday, on the day she was baptized. How many of us can say that. That on our actual birthday we were baptized. And then to be able to say that on my birthday and baptism day I wish my Mom Happy Birthday too. Now swap it for a mothers view. On my birthday I helped be a creator with God. I suffered pain, immense pain to give a beautiful daughter of God life. On my birthday I held a soul so clean and pure that only moments before I'm sure was held by our Savior. Eight years later I helped that little girl open the gate to return to her Father in Heaven. And then on my birthday, watching her father on earth baptize her, held a soul so clean and pure as the day she left her Father in Heaven. It brings tears to my eyes. I had the most amazing birthday. I will never have a day like that again on my birthday, and on her birthday too. Thank you to all who made her day possible. Her grandparents for raising her parents and teaching them the gospel. Thank you to those who teach her at church. Thank you to those that welcome her into their homes and love her like one of their own daughters, and Thank you to my Heavenly Father and Savior for sending her to me on my birthday, and teaching me how to raise her. It was an awesome day, I'm so thrilled to have this beautiful memory.
Now something funny.
Mom: "Hey Bug how do you get milk from a cow?"
Bug: (Hands on hips with hip to the side)" You walk up to the cow and say HEY COW GIMME SOME MILK!"
( I thought that was hilarious)